To commit or to commit To

Earlier this year my dear husband, J.B., had a major meltdown, an emotional break down. I have never seen him in such despair. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to help. He wanted to die. He said I'd better take him to the hospital. There’s no hope. God has forsaken and abandoned him. I got my dad and we took him to the ER. I was afraid (and yet hoping at the same time) that all this was caused by another blood clot like the last time he was so sick. They check him out, made sure there were no blood clots in his lungs again and checked everything they could think of…but that wasn’t it.
The doctor spoke to me alone in the hallway, he had such a serious look. He told me that my husband really needs help and he can’t do anymore for him. He needs to go to the other hospital. Then he asked “Are you ready to commit him?”
My heart sank. I felt like falling down. I could hear myself (in my head) screaming “NO! God please! This isn’t fair! What am I to do?!”
And in my spirit I heard Him say “Answer this question…Are you ready to commit him or Are you ready to commit to him?”
We’ve been married 19 years so far and I would like to think I’ve been pretty darn committed to him so far! Then He reminded me of the vows I made…"I promise to stand by you regardless of the situation around us. Whether we’re rich or poor doesn’t matter, spending my life with you does. In times of sickness and thru the blessings of health I will love, cherish and obey you…with all my heart I believe our union in Christ is now and forever.”
Well, what can you say after a speech like that?! How can I say anything less than YES! of course I will commit to him! I don’t know what this will entail, and I'm scared to death but I do commit myself to him and with God’s help, do what I can to help him thru this terrible time. And trust that God will see both of us thru this stronger and hopefully wiser.

In the describablely difficult times....

This I received as a word from God given by a sweet friend.
"Praise Me."
"This I ask of you in times that is describablely difficult to do so."
"I ask it of you in a love that is stern because I know that it is your only hope for survival."
"Distress of soul and grief of heart can only bring on the destruction of the body."
"Joy alone is the healer."
"And you can have it in the darkest if you will force your soul to rise to Me in worship and adoration."
"Praise Me!"

When hope is lost...

Can anything be worse than loosing all hope?
You can face incredible adversity, if you have hope.
You can deal with overwhelming odds, if you have hope.
This year that hope was shattered and I found myself and JB standing before an onslaught of despair. Everything I had been holding onto and supposedly standing firm on was ripped like a rug out from under me. I was paralyzed with fear that saying or doing the wrong thing would make it even worse. I watched helplessly as things I trusted in crumbled before me. As a child left with only an ebbing candle to battle the darkness that is pressing in. In that darkness, where fear looms and grips the last bit of strength from you...where that nasty father of lies says cruelly "Where is you God?" It was in that horrid darkness when all hope seems to be gone forever that I found myself cowering....and yet....a small light flickers beside me, then another and another and soon it is the darkness that is running from the blinding light that is growing around me. Encompassing my very being. Strength is slowly being renewed; and the fear that had threatened to crush me is being lifted away. As I looked up; I began to see what those little lights were.....it was my Daddy, my Momma, my sister, family and dear friends.....it was God!
You see, it is His love that shone thru them. It is His love that renewed my spirit. It is His love that can always be trusted in. It is His love that brought me hope.
"Where is my God?" you ask
HE IS WITH ME!!!!!

What's in a name?

I was thinking about names...We name our kids in hope that they may be influenced by what the name means or the person they are named after. Like Seamus (James) in hopes that he will find a good example in the man James of the Bible. Or Marsha in hopes that she will look to her grandmother and see an example of a good woman. Then there are names that remind us of certain truths. For example Ceana is celtic for God is gracious or Elias means the Lord is my God. And even though my name is spelled different than other Lisa's, it still means consecrated to God, in other words dedicated to God's sacred purpose. Well, if I choose to believe these things are true (which I do) then I am reminded that when I was young my parents dedicated, set aside and gave me back to God for Him to do His good works in and thru me and that now all grown up, I can choose to continue to live in that truth every day.
If that is how you start your day.......remembering who He is, well, then at least your putting your first thoughts in the right direction.